


On My Way To Believing

by silent_shadow (silent_deadly)



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alec Lightwood Owns A Café, Alternate Universe - Coffee Shops & Cafés, Alternate Universe - Human, Falling In Love, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Magnus Bane Is A Professor, Mutual Pining, Pre-Relationship, They Just Need A Push, lots of pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 00:48:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,362
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13202130
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/silent_deadly/pseuds/silent_shadow
Summary: "Building a future with you is what I want. Past is always crowded by darkness but I know you are bright enough to chase away at least some of that darkness."****Way too long after they met Magnus and Alec are still just friends. Both of them want more but neither of them want to be the one to ruin their delicate friendship by crossing that line. All they can pray for is a bit of courage every time they meet, a courage that never finds them. Or maybe just for this one time it does.





	On My Way To Believing

**Author's Note:**

> Title is taken from the song "The Only Exception" by Paramore. I hope you enjoy the story!

Oddly enough Raphael was the one who often brought it up when they lounged around on Magnus’s balcony, drinks and snacks spread on the coffee table, too tired to leave the comforts of the apartment.

“You might end up a hermit.” He spoke up, eyes trained on Magnus, too serious for him to laugh it off like he usually does.

“Given the time I spend with young adults, that’s improbable. Enough peace to be a hermit isn’t what I’d associate with my profession.” Magnus replied after taking having a huge gulp of his martini.

“Not what I meant and you know it.” Raphael said with a glare, though his face was still devoid of any expressions.

“He’s right.” Catarina spoke up swinging her legs down from where it was on the couch to turn and meet his eyes. “How long has it been since you went on a single date?” She asked, a condescending smirk on her face, though he could easily see the worry in her eyes.

“Catarina, you’d do better introspecting on it. Don’t forget, dear friend, that you too are devastatingly single.”  Magnus replied knowing she wouldn’t take offense.

“I’m married to my work Magnus and perfectly content with it. But we are well aware that _you_ aren’t.”

Magnus didn’t reply instead refilled his glass and sat back comfortably. He had reached a point of not caring about love anymore. No one wants to chase after things that brings them pain. He doesn’t find it cowardly regardless of what Raphael says, he thinks it’s just human nature.

“Well as thrilling as this conversation is, I should get going, my shift starts soon.” Catarina said standing up once she realised she wouldn’t get any answer, she’d just have to be more persuasive some other time.

“Drinking alcohol before helping sick people seems rather immoral.” Raphael spoke up making fun of her.

“Which is exactly why I didn’t.” She said, a smug smile graced her face at Raphael’s glare.  “Magnus be a dear and walk me to the door.” She added as she gathered her bag. Both crossed the distance towards the front in silence. As he opened the door Catarina hung back, Magnus could perfectly make out the worry in her posture.

Putting on a smile, he spoke up, “I’m fine, I’m just fine.”

“I know you are. But we would like it if you were happy, not ‘just fine’.” She replied with an easy smile, “There is someone who caught your eyes, I know it, just... Don’t pull away from a chance at love, at family. You are almost thirty seven Magnus, we shouldn’t have to keep reminding you of this.” She added. Magnus tried to shut down the conversation with a nod, sadly Cat wasn’t having it.

“Promise me you’ll think about it.” She said staring straight at him.

“I will work it all out. You just worry about saving lives.” Magnus replied, hoping she’ll let it go, at least for now, he was already too tired without the added weight of his own thoughts.

“Good night Magnus.” She said as she briskly walked away. Magnus couldn’t keep away a smile from his face. As he turned to go back inside he saw Raphael making his way over.

“I should leave too. Listen to whatever she said.” He said as he walked out without a farewell.

Magnus rolled his eyes as he walked out onto the balcony to collect everything and hopefully get an early night. He didn’t though, instead he got stuck thinking about what Catarina said, thinking about the kind hazel eyes that caught his attention after a long time of disenchantment with love.

Magnus had suffered through a variation of this exchange over phone with Ragnor when he first met Alexander Lightwood a few months back. He had called Ragnor hoping they wouldn’t get too into Magnus’s insecurities, but his friends apparently cared too much, he loved them for it, but it gets rather tiring to be called out often.

Somehow towards the end of their discussion, Ragnor had convinced him to ask Alec out, he wanted to, he still does, but life keeps getting in the way. He was often busy with his students and Alec with his café. They rarely had time to speak, but when they did, they’d sit at Alec’s quaint, homely café talking for hours at a time. Every conversation dragging him deeper and deeper into the pit of love, though with Alexander the pit never seemed scary, it felt deceptively like home.

Thinking about him often left Magnus with an overwhelming need for another conversation, and it’s only in those moments he realises he keeps forgetting to get Alec’s number whenever they meet. He’s too embarrassed to ask anyone else for it, he’s also stubborn, which he hates in moments like this.

Moments when he’s sitting all alone in his huge apartment, almost ghostly in its emptiness. Moments when he regrets not having someone he loves beside him.  Back when he was younger, he had wanted a family to come home to, arms to hold as he drifted off to sleep, kids jumping onto the bed to wake them up. Sadly the older he got, the more jaded and bitter he became with this concept. Somehow Alec was the one who reminded him of this again, who made him want all that he dreamed of and more.

 _‘We_ _are meant to be_ _together.’_ He still remembers lucidly the moment their eyes met as the song played in the speakers. They weren't even sitting together, Magnus was looking through a bunch of emails he’d gotten, sipping on his latte and Alec was talking to a customer a few tables over . But somehow in Alec’s indifference and Magnus’s boredom they found each other just as that line had played. The intensity of the look they shared shook him to his core, Alexander was important, he had realised just then. _‘Cause you are the one I want’_ , the soft smile that graced Alec’s face was enough to tell him that Alec too had come to a similar conclusion.

That was a few weeks back. They’re well aware that they are slowly but surely falling for each other in a way they never anticipated. But neither did anything, too scared of losing what they had, too scared of causing pain to the other. WIth a sigh Magnus walked into his bedroom, the pointless thinking and rethinking never changed a thing. They still went home to an empty apartment and cold beds.

*******

To say that Alec was having a bad day would be quite an understatement. One of the coffee machines broke and sadly his monthly profits from the café was at an all time low which meant his plans for expanding it is being put on hold. On top of that Maia got into arguments with a lot of customers about the longer wait for coffee.

He’d always be proud of his small café, but days like these he regrets quitting his job at his parent’s company. At least there all he had to deal with was the off-handed comments about his supposed ‘privileges’ from being the CEO’s son.  

“Alec, you worry too much. So what the expansion got postponed, I personally think it’s for the best. You are too wound up to deal with all that now.” Isabelle said as they sat on a table, having sandwiches for lunch.

“Izzy, the expansion was part of the plan. How am I ever supposed to open a restaurant if I don’t work through it?”  Alec replied, “And I’m not wound up.”

“Sure you aren’t…” Izzy replied with a smile as if she was thinking of an inside joke. “So, your birthday party, we are having it and you are inviting Magnus. No arguments.”

“He’s a busy guy Izzy. I don’t think he wants to go to a birthday party.” Alec said. He knew that arguing with Isabelle wouldn’t get him anywhere. At least not about parties, she’ll throw one anyways.

“What’s the trouble in just inviting?”

“I don’t want to. I’m agreeing to the party aren’t I? So just drop it. Please.” If begging is what has to be done, that’s exactly what he’ll do. Magnus and him, they have a very complicated friendship, but that doesn’t mean he’s willing to just jeopardize it.

“Alright you don’t have to ask. But I can right?” Isabelle spoke up after a few moments of silence, a smug smile very prominent on her face that had Alec’s heart rate increasing exponentially.

“Izzy what are you planning?” He tried to sound as menacing as he could, which sadly enough never quite worked on his sister. Before he could do anything Izzy was out of her chair and walking towards the cash register and almost immediately walked in Magnus.

“Hey Magnus!” Alec heard her say as he still sat on the chair unable to process everything that happened the past few seconds. Swearing under his breath Alec walked towards them, almost spilling his coffee with his hurry to stand.

“Hello darling. It’s been quite sometime since I saw you. Have you finished your internship?” Magnus asked her politely, Alec was shocked that Magnus remembered something he or Izzy might have just mentioned on the passing. He didn’t think his family would hold that amount of care in Magnus’s life.

“Almost. I got it extended. I quite enjoy working there and a post is about to be vacant in another month. So I thought it’ll be better if I remain there until I can apply for the permanent position.” Isabelle replied shocking Alec all over again, he hadn’t realised that Izzy was close enough to Magnus to talk about her life so openly. Alec was sadly a bit too selfish when it came to Magnus. He tries his best to hide it but regrettably it isn’t something he can hide from himself.

“That’s a wonderful idea Isabelle.” Magnus replied with a smile. Alec couldn’t keep a smile of his face as he saw Magnus’s eyes roaming through the café till it landed on him.

“Well, I should leave. My lunch break is about to end. Oh and Magnus, we are having a birthday party for Alec next week. His birthday is on Tuesday but we’ll celebrate it on Friday around 7 here in this cafe. You have to come. No excuses.”

“Oh I wouldn’t dream of missing it. After all as the only other person who’s in his 30s I have a duty to welcome your brother into his 31st year.”

“Great! Well then bye Magnus. See you later big brother.” Izzy shouted as she ran out of the café snatching her jacket from the stand.

“You don’t have to come if you are busy or tired. It isn’t actually a birthday party, she misses all of us just hanging out together getting drunk. Not that I ever did much of that.” Alec spoke up after Izzy left the café.

“As long as I’m not intruding I’d love to come.” Magnus replied with a reassuring smile that melted Alec’s heart. He couldn’t help but return one.

Without even realising Alec noticed that they had moved way too close for it to be friendly, which in turn helped Alec to look directly into the warm soulful brown eyes that he knows has seen more than its fair share of pain. The gravity he always feels between them is overwhelming and there isn’t a single day that goes by where he doesn’t regret just completely removing the distance between them and know what Magnus feels like against him, to know if his lips are as soft as they seem.

“Magnus! Your usual order?” Maia called out which caused them to jump apart as they stood there staring at each other. Alec felt the need to give her a raise for interrupting them, he was ready to do just what he dreamt of since he realised he was falling in love with the witty, kind and fashionable professor in front of him.

He still remembers when Clary started talking about the head of the history department who was way too young and fun to be one. She seemed in awe as she talked about him one night they were all sitting together insisting that they should meet him. ‘You can’t not like him.’ she had said, even though she was addressing everyone in the room, her eyes kept falling on him.

Luke who had gone to the university a few times to see Clary seemed to hold Magnus with a level of respect that was pretty strange coming from a guy like him. Soon enough she brought the famous Magnus Bane to his café and Alec understood exactly why Clary and even Luke spoke highly of him. Alec was, and most probably always will be, intimidated with the sheer amount of respect and adoration Magnus so easily claims with everything he does.

“If you are free grab a seat. I have around fifteen more minutes to waste.” Magnus said as he walked to take his usual seat by the window.

“Free is one word for it.” Alec replied with a sigh as he walked behind him to sit down opposite to Magnus, as he looked around he saw that someone had already cleared the table Izzy and him were sitting at. He was tempted to get another cup of coffee but seeing the line slowly starting to form he ignored it and just sat down in front of Magnus.

“What’s the word you’d use then?” Magnus asked after taking a sip from his steaming cup.

“Worried. Hopeless. There’s nothing for me to do other than sit and steam in my own thoughts.” Alec said, he found it so easy to talk to Magnus, his understanding of Alec was unparalleled. Seeing Magnus’s confused face he explained the entire situation all over again. He talked about this too many times today.

“Too big of a burden to put on yourself Alexander. Where’s your partner in crime? Let Jace worry about things too for a change. I know it’s _your_ dream but there’s a reason you have a business partner. Don’t kick yourself for all lows when you don’t give yourself credit for all the highs.” Magnus said as he held Alec’s hand resting on the table.

“Professor Bane!” Came a loud voice from their side, a young girl was standing beside them, her face beaming as she called out Magnus. “I didn’t realise you came here for lunch!”  

“Sometimes I do Sophie.” Magnus replied, with a smile he introduced Alec to the girl who was currently staring at their hands on the table. “Alexander, this is my fabulous TA Sophia. And Sophie this is Alec Lightwood, he owns this café.”

“Oh so sorry. I didn’t realise you were on a date. I saw you sitting here, I thought I’ll say hi before leaving. Bad idea. I’m gonna get out of your way, see you in a while Professor.” Sophia said in a rush as she adjusted her scarf.

“No worries darling. Now get going, you do have to set up the presentations for the next lecture.” Magnus replied completely taking Alec by surprise for a lot of reasons, main one being that he didn’t even try to clear up that they weren’t on a date, neither did he let go of Alec’s hand all through his conversation with the TA. Not so surprisingly Alec found himself actually enjoying that fact. He wanted to go on dates with Magnus, wanted to hold his hand, wanted to kiss him goodbye. He just wanted Magnus. Alec laced their fingers together making Magnus stare at him with an intensity that terrified him as much as it excited him.

“Magnus, I…” Alec wanted to say everything, for someone as brazen as him it shouldn’t have been as difficult as it felt like in that moment.

“I should get going.” Magnus spoke up finally. “I’ll come by around five in the evening though. We should probably talk.”

“Yeah we should.” Alec said, feeling both heart broken and elated. Alec sat there not knowing what else to say as he watched Magnus put on his jacket and walk out giving a nod towards Maia who was busy with a customer.

He remained sitting for another minute before he looked out the busy street filled mostly with the kids from the university. He didn’t immediately notice Magnus walking back towards the café, but once he did Alec could feel his heart beating faster. He knew, he _hoped_ that this all had to mean something, that he didn’t fall hopelessly in love with Magnus to be just cast aside as another ‘what-if’.

With a newfound courage he walked towards the door just as Magnus entered. He didn’t even register what he did next until he felt Magnus’s hand on his waist pull him closer, until he finally registered that Magnus lips were just as soft as he thought they’d be. He could taste the bitterness of the coffee Magnus just had, but most importantly he felt the sparks that hit him as soon as they touched, sending tingles throughout his whole being. It was the best kiss he ever shared and he knew it was due to fact that this was Magnus Bane, it wasn’t complicated at all, it was easy and it felt like the safety and warmth of home. As he pulled back a bit all he saw was Magnus’s eyes, pupils blown wide and the most loving smile on his face, all he could think at that moment was how deep in love he’d already fallen in just ten months of knowing Magnus.

“That was unexpected.” Magnus said in a whisper, both still holding each other not caring that people were staring at them. They’d waited way too long for this moment to finally come to mind anything else.

“Yeah.” Alec replied just as quietly.

“I should really get going now. I just came back in to get your number but that was….” Magnus trailed off with a short lived laugh. “I can’t remember the last time someone rendered me speechless.”

“You’ll only get my number after you’ve taken me on a date.” Alec answered unable to keep a smirk off his face.

“Alexander, I’m pretty sure we’ve had way too many accidental dates over the past few months.” Magnus replied feeling almost giddy which is ridiculous on itself, he was a middle aged history professor, his swooning age should be well behind him, but here he was. “Let me make you a deal, how about we go for a drink tonight and after I walk you home, you give me your number at your doorstep? I reckon we have waited long enough to keep extending it any longer.”

“Yeah. Yes.” Alec can’t remember the last time someone made him feel so unbelievably happy. With a quick kiss Magnus pulled back and hastily walked towards the gates of the Uni.

“Finally!” Maia said bringing Alec out of the bubble, he had to try his hardest not to blush with the audience he had. “Hello! Boss! Back to earth now lover boy, you have a call from the guy who fixes our stuff, he’s not going to come today.” Alec replied with a glare as he walked towards the kitchen. He couldn’t help but reflect Maia’s words. Finally.

He’s well aware that it wouldn’t be all that easy or simple but as long as he gets to go home to Magnus, they’d work through everything else as there is no doubt in his mind that Magnus is the love of his life. The sheer certainty of that thought was enough to make him lightheaded. It also made him the happiest guy alive. Even arguing with over demanding mechanics couldn’t bring down his mood. The song playing through the speakers solidified everything that happened, the same song that played the moment he realised Magnus would be a very important part of his life.

_“Battles and waging wars_

_Lovers stay until it's_ _over_

_And darling when you're falling_

_Don't run just take your time."_

**Author's Note:**

> The song referenced in the story is "For Tonight" by Randy Rhymes. I really hope you enjoyed it. Feedback will be tremendously loved and appreciated.


End file.
